The Good Parts Version

by Goldie

I love the story of The Princess Bride by William Goldman and I love the idea of this being the “good parts version” of his favorite story from childhood. According to Mr. Goldman, his father would tell him the story, leaving out the boring parts. He was surprised when he finally read it and found pages and pages describing clothes. So he wrote the good parts version. Actually, he wrote the whole thing, but this intro makes the story even more fun.

A friend of mine grew up with horrible abuse, then married an abusive husband. A couple of years ago, she began reviewing all those years–with a twist. She was going to remember all the good parts. She was rewriting her story into the good parts version.

Last week, I found myself in the deep hole of caregiver burnout, self pity, and anger. I was shocked at how angry I was. I didn’t like it. In some ways, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll always struggle with my relationship with my mom, but I don’t want to be like her. She has been angry all her life. Even her humor often tends to be mean spirited. Remembering this is enough to shake me out of my self pity and back to living well.

I’ll go back to writing the good parts version. If my friend can do it, so can I. As long as I know I have a place here to vent when I need to, where no one will pat my hand and say, “now, now”, I can do this.

The best thing is I’ve already started. In fact, I start the story way, way back, before me… way before me. I’m still going through those family photos and genealogy records. And I’ve found some really fun stuff:

Names of twins:  Hiram and Homer, AKA Hi and Ho, Lillie Bell and Tillie Bell, Lois and Louis, Lucretia and Aurella, Spythnev and Wenceslas.

My dad, my sister, and me. I’m the little one.

We have some Welsh ancestors. So I can ffind myselff spellling words ffynnu and be ffine widd ddis.

If I’m really zoning out and keep clicking on those little arrows on our familysearch.org family tree, I always find we are direct descendants of royalty. Sure, there’s a few data problems. Maybe a wife was born after her husband died, but really, it’s got to be accurate. I followed those arrows back so far one night, I came to Odin of Asgaard.  And Beowulf.

More importantly, I’m trying to consciously remember the good times. At least Mom ignored us, and we had a blast wandering through the hills and catching horny toads. I hardly remember any adults from the neighborhood, just lots of kids and the occasional jack rabbit. We had cousins on a farm and an uncle who took us to get snow cones and cotton candy.

Me and my Uncle Bob

Focusing on these times, maybe I can enjoy going through some of the old photos with Mom and Dad… well, I always enjoy Dad. He’s the one who taught me how to make things funny. I have to let go of a lot to enjoy Mom. Sometimes it’s easier to hold on my own anger rather than risk the hurt that comes when she gets mean.

Oh well, that’s a work in progress. For now, I’ll go through my photos and rewrite the good parts version, starting way back in our history.

Guess what? I’m a direct descendant of Attila the Hun!

And I’ve also got some really cool guys in my family.